This past Friday night I had a moment of scary realization.
But first, let me recap my week for you.
Tuesday-Friday I was in the school. I taught my eleventh
grade classes on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. (And I get to teach them again
tomorrow!) I love it and I think they might even like having someone new teach them. They’re
impressed with how much technology I can bring in; just little things like
showing them video clips online that are related to what they’re learning
(currently it's The Canterbury Tales). I even made them a class blog and they literally ooh’d and
ahh’d. I know it’s a bit of fun and games, but I can’t even begin to describe
how comfortable I am standing in front of them and getting to share what I know
and urge them to discover more on their own. It’s literally as if I was made
for this. (I sure as heck hope that’s the truth!) They started an amusing chant
that goes something like “Miss Small knows it all!” and I honestly can’t distinguish the
difference as to whether or not they’re making fun of me. Regardless, I get
them to complete their work and accomplish their goals and I’m willing to make a fool of myself if it
means they get to excel. This isn’t at all how silly I may look, it’s about how
much greatness they can and will achieve.
After a long week of teaching just 3 periods a day, I was
beginning to realize that this is what my life would look like for the next x
number of years. Yet this moment didn’t really begin to sink in until I was
sitting at the high school football game on Friday evening. Now mind you that
this was my very first attendance at a high school football game (my home
school district doesn’t have a team), so this was a whirlwind of new emotions/reactions.
As I sat overhearing the conversations from parents around me, I began to
realize that this is what my life has become. I’m supposed to be a responsible
adult here to serve as a role model and educator for students. The next 10, 20,
30, or 40 years will be spent doing exactly this. Am I the only one
who finds this moment of self-realization to be slightly terrifying?
Now I know we’re young and we have our whole lives ahead of
us, but I can’t help but be a little worried that one day I’ll get stuck in a
rut. And I don’t work well with ruts, or for that matter, anything that stays completely consistent. I don’t like change, but life is so boring without it. It’s just
another paradox of life. So while I sat outside in the freezing cold on Friday
night, my heart began to race when I thought of myself sitting in the same spot
thirty more years from now. Our students will come and go, but year after year we
will still be here.
Alright, alright. Let’s get over this moment of panic. Because
shortly after I had this realization, I sat thinking and dreaming about the
future and about how different things can and will be. Even if I’m fortunate enough to
have the same job in the same school district for the next forty years, there
will always be something changing. Firstly, we must recognize that our students are never the same. As similar as they may seem at first
glance, they won’t at all be the same as the class before them or even their
fellow peers sitting beside them. Secondly, the content we’ll be teaching will
be ever-changing, ever-growing. Think of how much new knowledge and research has been discovered in the past decade. Prepare for more in the future! Finally, we’ll be getting older, gaining new
knowledge, having more experience. We're the ones that are changing just as much as our students are growing to find out who they are. Life will never be the same. And the moment
it begins to feel that way, we need to do something to change it.
I don’t know much about football, but I think I’ve found a
way to connect football and life. (For those of you familiar with football, I'm sorry if this seems dull.) Okay, so you’re a part of a team that changes year
after year as people come and go. But you always remember the successes or
mistakes of your fellow teammates. You make decisions based off of their moves.
You have a book of plays, but no matter how much you try to predict the
opposing team’s movement, you can never guess it all. They’ll always find a way
to surprise you; to make a new pass or to stop another ball. You’re going to
have a few good throws that a student might catch and run for a 50 yard
touchdown. Other times, you might not be able to move the ball forward at all or even lose
a few yards. You’re going to lose some games and you’ll win others. But what if
you began to play with the mindset that every game is the big championship one?
What if every day, you got so pumped up and played it with every being of your
very core? It might even begin to look like you were born for that moment.
